Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
