its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My vagina is officially offended.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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