is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
