I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
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College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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