Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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