..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
