Dual....:-)
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
