oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
should my penis look like a turkey
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
