Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
When are your genitals available?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
