My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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