My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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