If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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