I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
