She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
