I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
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Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
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Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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