Three words: puerto rican gang bang
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
