And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
