when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
