she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I want a musical about memes.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
