I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
