is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
