I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
