so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
