so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
