were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I FOUND THE LEGS
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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