the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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