Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
