I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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