Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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