don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
