Dual....:-)
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
