Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
