You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
