Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
