Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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