Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
