i think i have two assholes
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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