He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
So. Much. Porn.
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