He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
