I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
