She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If I die, sorry about rent.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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