this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
