Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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