your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
