I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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