I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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