I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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