He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
