I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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