the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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