Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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