Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
