id be glad to
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
