How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
