if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
