his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
