let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
there is glitter all over my balls
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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