just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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